Word of the Day (Happy Stewarts Root Beer Day)

Please enjoy today’s Jonathan Kozol moment for June 17th, 2011. Have a happy Stewarts Root Beer Day. Interesting Fact: After human death, post-mortem rigidity starts in the head and travels to the feet, and leaves the same way it came — head to toe. (How ironic, it’s usually the rigid that need a head start.)

“Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.” Jonathan Kozol

I hope you’ve enjoyed today’s extremely deep Word of the Day. I will not leave the church picnic until I have sampled some fried chicken. It’s a battle I can almost always win!

This Weeks Word from Our Lord

“Sing to God, sing in praise of his name, extol him who rides on the clouds; rejoice before him—his name is the LORD. A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.” Psalm 68:4-5 NIV

Now it is time for the super nifty bonus Word (or Phrase) of the Week! Learn and speak English, it’s the Mother Tongue!

forebear (noun, Pronounced FOR-bair) : ancestor, forefather; also : precursor

Used in a sentence: It is said that my forebear used to publish a weekly periodical entitled “Ye Ole Word Of Thy Day”.

Rite of Passage

“Sit down, child, and make yourself comfortable.” The old man gave a sigh. He knew that young Billy was going to be a captive audience. He loved to tell the stories of old. He loved to share the wisdom of the ancients with the new generation. Too often, young folks were too distracted with electronic gadgets and such. They missed so much. But, out here in the wilderness, the old man knew that there would be no distractions. There was no signal way out here, and he had confiscated everything, anyway. Now, in front of the campfire, the old man put on his best wise old storyteller face and began to spin the old and ancient tales.
Billy eyed the old man as took his seat at the campfire. He really didn’t want to be there. Sure the camping was fun, but he didn’t understand why he had to be out in the woods alone with the creepy old man. Would having a few friends come along really have been all that horrible? Now, the old man was going to tell some sort of fable that was supposed have this lame lesson incorporated into it. This was not how Billy pictured spending his summer vacation.
The old man smiled and began, “In the beginning the Great Sky Turtle laid her eggs…”
Billy rolled his eyes. “The Great Sky Turtle” was the last thing he wanted to be listening to right now. He’d seen his share of turtles. There was nothing wise or profound about turtles. They sure didn’t have anything to do with the creation of the universe. If the old man was going to make up stories, why couldn’t he do it about space ninjas or something? Nobody seems to want to tell stories about space ninjas anymore. Billy couldn’t even remember the last time someone made a video game about space ninjas. Everything was vampires and zombies these days, it’s kind of depressing when you think about it…
“Billy? Are you paying attention?”
Billy looked up at the old man and tried to hide the fact that he had not heard a word for the last twenty minutes. He had a feeling there were tale-tale signs in his expression. The old man was eyeing him wearily. Billy really didn’t care what the old man thought. He just hoped that this didn’t mean the old man was going to restart from the beginning.
“It’s okay if you weren’t listening, Billy. I know that young people like you are easily distracted.”
“Really?”
“Sure,” the old man smiled. “As the elder of our people, it is my job to make sure that everyone knows the tribal wisdom that has been passed down from generation to generation. Sometimes I take a young person out here and he listens to everything I have to say. When that happens, then the young person is allowed to go back home. It is a rite of passage.”
Billy gazed into the old man’s smiling eyes. He was beginning to get an uneasy feeling. “So what happens if the young person does not listen to your stories?”
“What? Do you mean like you? You want to know what’s going to happen to you?”
“Well, nothing bad. Right?”
The old man fell into laughter. At first the laughter was a soft chuckle, but it grew. The laughter grew and continued to grow until it was the hard sharp laughter of a maniac. The old man doubled over in his laughing. “Ha, Ha, Ha, You want to know what’s going to happen to you! That’s rich! Oh, that’s grand!”
Billy began to cry. This was definitely not the way things were supposed to be going. He wanted to go home more than anything and this crazy old man was very scary.
“Ha, Ha, Ha, What are you crying for young one? Aren’t you having a good time?”
“No! I am not having a good time! I want to go home!”
“Oh, does the little boy want to go home to his mommy and his digital game system, and his television set? Is that what the little boy wants? Is it? Is it?”
Billy stood up and tried to be brave in the face of the mad old man! “Yes! I want to go home. I don’t want to be here with you.”
The old man clutched his stomach, “But I am hungry, Billy. I am really hungry. You have no idea just how hungry I am.”
Billy tried to put some distance between him and the old man, but was frozen in fear. “Well, if you are so hungry then why don’t you fix yourself a snack? I think I have some granola in my backpack.”
“Oh, I don’t need granola. I think what I need is some fresh meat!” The old man appeared to be foaming at the mouth.
Billy threw a package of beef jerky at the old man and began to run. He took off as fast as has feet would take him. It seemed the faster he ran, the closer the voice of the old man seemed to be. It sounded like the old man was beginning to growl like some sort of wild animal. Billy’s adrenalin carried him through the woods a good ways, but eventually his body started to protest. Tripping over his own feet, he could still hear the mad laughs and the growls of the old man getting closer and closer. Billy made a crawl to a small tree and gripped it for dear life, when suddenly everything went black.

Billy awoke to the smell of beans on the fire. He started. He was back at the campsite. Fear gripped him as he spotted the old man. He was sitting in the same spot he had been earlier.
“You gave me quite a start, young man. One minute I am trying to tell you a story, the next thing I know, you scream and pass out. Are you okay?”
Confusion began to creep over Billy’s face as the old man began to serve up the beans.
“Oh, boy was I hungry,” stated the old man as offered Billy his bowl. “Now, where was I? Are you ready to hear about the Great Sky Turtle?”
Billy took his bowl and sat up straight, ready to listen intently.
“In the beginning the Great Sky Turtle laid her eggs…” began the old man. Inside, he smiled at himself. It worked every time.

plaid rainbow

Photobucket

Shades of Plaid is now available. It took longer than expected, however I am now beside myself with joy because the book is out. Being beside oneself is not all it’s cracked up to be. I might start arguing with myself in a bit. In the meantime, here are ways to get to the book.

It’s now in paperback https://www.createspace.com/3521456

Smashwords http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/50196

And Kindle http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004UB5E3S

Extra Double Special Bonus: Jo and Jonathan’s Terrible Turtle Conspiracy

Posted in Word of the Day | 2 Comments

Word of the Day (Happy Corn on the Cob Day)

Please enjoy today’s William Shakespeare moment for June 11th, 2011. Have a happy Corn on the Cob Day. Interesting Fact: A ten-gallon hat holds three-quarters of a gallon. (I always wear the eleven gallon hat. I can get awfully thirsty sometimes.)

“Do not, for one repulse, forego the purpose that you resolved to effect.” William Shakespeare

I hope you’ve enjoyed today’s extremely deep Word of the Day. I was looking forward to repulsing too. Darn spoiled sport!

Colossians 3:13

Now it is time for the super nifty bonus Word (or Phrase) of the Week! Learn and speak English, it’s the Mother Tongue!

mutatis mutandis (adverb, Pronounced myoo-TAH-tis-myoo-TAHN-dis)
1: with the necessary changes having been made 2: with the respective differences having been considered

Used in a sentence: The new Word of the Day is posted mutatis mutandis.

What Lurks in the Darkness

He was afraid of the dark. Most of his friends thought he was daft to be afraid of the dark. “What are you daft,” they would say. “Grown men ought not to be afraid of the dark.”
But, Tim knew. He knew the dark could contain some terrible stuff. He just didn’t have any inclination to meet the terrible stuff that one finds in the dark, anytime soon. He was quite happy to spend his time in the light. He even carried a mini flashlight with him at all times, just in case he was to experience a little unexpected darkness. Being prepared was one of Tim’s major rules.
Tim was right about the darkness. There were things in the darkness that wanted to harm him specifically. When Tim was five, he told his little brother that there was no such thing as night bunnies. His little brother, Benny, had been leaving marshmallow sandwiches under his bed for the night bunnies and Tim had found them and thrown them away. When a night bunny decides to hold a grudge, it can be a nasty thing.
Night bunnies are not cute, nor are they cuddly. They have to stay out of the daylight due to some sort of pact their ancestors made with the Lords of Darkness. If they are exposed to any kind of light at all, they pop out of reality until the light is gone. The process is quite painful. Every time Tim shines that little flashlight of his, those bunnies get that much more ticked off.
Night bunnies are not the kind of things one wants to trifle with. Those little buggers can be quite vicious. Picture thousands of tiny feet bouncing in the dark. Once the bouncing begins there is no stopping. There is no reasoning. There is only bouncing and only pain. A person can’t get up from that kind of thing without being scarred for life. Many believe it is because of wrathful night bunnies that night lights were invented in the first place. Many a child might put up with a drooling monster under the bed, but night bunnies are another story altogether. You just don’t take chances with those.
Tim wasn’t about to take chances. He had heard stories of the night bunnies and what they could do. And then, there was the unfortunate incident with Benny. The hopping had nearly sent Benny to the hospital, and all because Benny had thought it was funny to feed the night bunnies a chocolate bunny he had gotten for Easter. The boy should have stuck with marshmallow sandwiches. It was the hopping of Benny that had made Tim a believer and what had made Tim afraid of the dark. Benny is an insomniac to this day, and he is afraid of bunnies, even in the daylight.
The bunnies were pretty darn awful, but they were not the only thing in the dark that filled Tim’s heart with fear. There was something in the dark that even filled a night bunny’s heart with fear. The Puffs of Darkness are the stuff of nightmares. Tim had only encountered one Puff of Darkness in his lifetime. He had noticed the thing lurking in the corner of his bedroom and had made the mistake of thinking it was cute. It was the one time he shut the flashlight off. The Puff of Darkness turned his world upside down. Before the night was over, Tim was crying like a little baby in its crib. Puffs of Darkness are just evil that way.
Tim had heard that Puffs of Darkness tend to move in swarms. Tim had only experienced one. He couldn’t even imagine facing two much less a swarm. He always reasoned that it was because of things like Puffs of Darkness that people wound up living in insane asylums. Surly, a swarm of the creatures would drive any man insane.
This is why Tim never wanted to go to the movies. It was too dark in the movies and the ushers always wanted to make him turn his flashlight off. Darkrooms were another no-no. That red light in the darkroom wasn’t enough to hold the terrible creatures of darkness at bay. Night bunnies lived to mock red lights in darkrooms. Tim’s one love interest happened to be a photographer. It had always seemed a pity to Tim that he was never able to share his dear Charlene’s passion for darkroom film developing. Tim spent all his time waiting in the well lit portion of her photography studio, looking through photography magazines for bigger and brighter flashbulbs. Tim had really grown to love flashbulbs. Nothing could scatter lurking night bunnies from the shadows like a good flashbulb.
The fear that Time had of the dark and his knowledge of the creatures that dwelt there was beginning to take a toll on his relationship with Charlene. In fact, it had been the bane of Tim’s social life for as long as he could remember. He was never popular at sleepovers. He refused to leave his house after seven at night. Camping was not something he even wanted to consider. He tried it once and the batteries almost died in his electronic lantern. Nobody wanted to share a tent with him. They all decided to sleep in Freddy’s tent. That guy snored! How embarrassing, the night light guy was even less popular than noisy snoring guy. Who knew?
He had come to accept his lot in life. He was destined to spend most of his nights alone and usually awake. Some nights he considered letting the night bunnies have their way. He thought, if he could just bring himself to shut out the lights, that he would be able to survive the hopping. One night he almost reached over. He almost switched off the nightlight. He almost took his flashlight and threw it across the room. It was only the sound of little night bunnies giggling that made him stop. Nothing can be more sobering than the giggle of night bunnies. It was the giggle that made him pull out the camera with the bright flashbulbs. Little did he know that the bunnies were giggling for a reason. He reached for the camera and began to press the button. A bright flash filled the room, much brighter than ever before. Tim’s vision was suddenly filled with purple flash dots and the flash dot fleas were ready to feast.

plaid rainbow

Photobucket

Shades of Plaid is now available. It took longer than expected, however I am now beside myself with joy because the book is out. Being beside oneself is not all it’s cracked up to be. I might start arguing with myself in a bit. In the meantime, here are ways to get to the book.

It’s now in paperback https://www.createspace.com/3521456

Smashwords http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/50196

And Kindle http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004UB5E3S

Extra Double Special Bonus: Jo and Jonathan’s Terrible Turtle Conspiracy

Posted in Word of the Day | 4 Comments

What’s all this then?

You didn’t think I was going to start today, did you. I mean, I just came up with the whole idea to do this thing on Friday. Well, Friday is ready and finding me frightfully ill prepared. I mean, I was hoping to have something brilliant to show you. But it’s midnight and I am tired. I need more time. More time I tell you. Heck! I don’t even have a turtle cartoon ready. We can’t do a turtle cartoon, even if we wanted to. The dog ate Jo’s pencils. . What? Don’t look at me like that! The dog really did eat her pencils! Maybe it’s on some sort of weird diet or something. You would think that Jo would feed it Doggy Chow or something like that.
Okay, maybe I don’t have an awesome Word of the Day this Week, and maybe I promised you one, and maybe I don’t have a Terrible Turtle Cartoon, but I think I might have something just as good.

Here are some awesome pics you won’t find in the Terrible Turtle Conspiracy

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Next week we will do the whole awesome Word of the Day thing. I promise. Hopefully Jo’s dog will have pooped out the pencils by then. Kind makes you hope she doesn’t chew on the erasers, eh?

Posted in Word of the Day | 2 Comments

What’s Going On

What’s Going On

Where should I start? 2011 has been a year of change for me and because it has been a change for me, it has also been a change for the “Word of the Day” and for “Day and Dark Entertainment”. Much has gone on since the end of 2010 and the beginning of 2011. The year is now nearly half way over and things still have not settled down. Here are the highlights in a bulleted list.

• Left Kingsland, Georgia to live in Pensacola Florida.
• Changed jobs at at&t from being an inside testing technician to an outside cable repairman.
• Published Shades of Plaid (A Very Unconventional Journey Into Christian Living.
• Changed college degree programs from Bachelors in Elementary Education to Bachelors of Arts in English.
• The Graduation of my son, Stephen and the upcoming graduation of my other son, Zachariah.

These changes have led to changes in day to day life and as a consequence, the Word of the Day has hit its first major snag after a glorious ten year run. I am finding it increasingly difficult to find the time to continue with a daily blog. Still, I don’t want to leave Word of the Day readers high and dry. I have, after much consideration made the following decisions about the Word of the Day and my online presence in general.

• The Word of the Day is going to be a weekly publication. It will have much of what you have come to expect in the Word of the Day. I plan to have a fact, a quote, a poem, a story, Plaid Rainbow comic, and a link to the latest Terrible Turtle Conspiracy.
• The Word of the Day will still be called the Word of the Day even though it is no longer daily.
• The Word of the Day is planned for Friday to coincide with the Terrible Turtle Conspiracy schedule.
• The Word of the Day will be posted on https://thejissilly.wordpress.com/ and sent in the email. I will post on MySpace only because I have friends that read it there, but I find MySpace to be extremely unfun, so when my friends stop visiting, I may drop that site altogether.
• I will add updates on what it going on with Shades of Plaid (A Very Unconventional Journey Into Christian Living and other writing endeavors on http://updatesinplaid.wordpress.com/ and provide a link in the Word of the Day

Thanks for being patient with all the changes. I still hope to have a lot of fun with everyone. Hopefully, I can still hit you guys with some high quality entertainment.

If you have any questions or suggestions I am open. I still hope to answer every single comment in a timely manner.

Your friend,
Jonathan (jissilly)

Posted in Word of the Day | 2 Comments

Word of the Day (Happy Star Wars Day)

Please enjoy today’s Albert Camus moment for May 4th, 2011.  Have a happy Star Wars Day.  Interesting fact: A barnacle has the largest penis of any other animal in the world in relation to its size. (That’s why barnacles are so darn confident.)

“But in the end one needs more courage to live than to kill
himself.”   Albert Camus

I hope you’ve enjoyed today’s extremely deep Word of the Day. For a man to stay alive
and face the difficulties of live he needs to have the figurative gonads of a barnacle.

Chronicles 7:14

             Electrician’s Hymn — “Send the Light”

(Wednesday Poetry Corner)

It’s Late

Holy Smokes and Good Grief

If I don’t get to sleep soon

Zombie Tomorrow

Shades of Plaid is now available.  It took longer than expected,
however I am now beside myself with joy because the book is out.  Being
beside oneself is not all it’s cracked up to be.  I might start arguing
with myself in a bit.  In the meantime, here are ways to get to the book.

It’s now in paperback  https://www.createspace.com/3521456

Smashwords
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/50196

And Kindle
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004UB5E3S

Posted in Word of the Day | 2 Comments

Word of the Day (Happy National Hairball Awareness Day)

Please enjoy today’s Thomas H. Huxley moment
for April 29th, 2011. Have a happy National Hairball Awareness Day. Interesting Fact: You’re born with 300 bones,
but when you get to be an adult, you only have 206! (Adults tend to make up for the loss of bones
with a gain of fatty tissue.)

“The great
tragedy of Science – the slaying of a beautiful hypothesis by an ugly fact.” Thomas H. Huxley

I hope you’ve enjoyed today’s extremely
deep Word of the Day. You can always resurrect
that hypothesis with startling new evidence.

Job 19:25

****Bonus
Material****

Please enjoy today’s Robert Jackson moment
which every bit as deep as anything else you may have read:

“The price
of freedom of religion, or of speech, or of the press, is that we must put up
with a good deal of rubbish.” Robert Jackson (I avoid rubbish by reading
the Word of the Day. It’s the way to go.)

Now it is time for the super nifty bonus
Word (or Phrase) of the Week! Learn and speak English, it’s the Mother Tongue!

ken (noun, Pronounced KEN) 1 a : the range of
vision b : sight, view 2 : the range of perception, understanding, or knowledge

Used in a sentence: As far a
Psuedo-Inspiration goes, my ken is unmatched.

Shades of Plaid is now available. It
took longer than expected, however I am now beside myself with joy because the
book is out. Being beside oneself is not all it’s cracked up to be.
I might start arguing with myself in a bit. In the meantime, here are
ways to get to the book.

It’s now in paperback https://www.createspace.com/3521456

Smashwords
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/50196

And Kindle
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004UB5E3S

Extra Double Special Bonus: Jo and Jonathan’s Terrible Turtle Conspiracy

Posted in Word of the Day | 2 Comments

Word of the Day (Happy Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day)

Please enjoy today’s Kanye West moment for April 28th, 2011.  Have a happy Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day.  Interesting fact: Your heart beats over 100,000 times a day!   (There’s lots of ways to fix that, but not many of them are pleasent.)

“In America, they want you to accomplish these great feats,
to pull off these David Copperfield-type stunts. You want me to be great, but
you don’t ever want me to say I’m great?”
Kanye West

     I hope you’ve enjoyed today’s extremely deep Word of the Day. Why wouldn’t people want me to let them know how great I am?  No I have to change my whole plan for the “Jonathan is Great Campaign”.

 Luke 19:10

            Gossiper’s Hymn — “Pass it On”

(Wednesday Poetry Corner)

Greatness

Jonathan is great.

But, he is way to humble

To write about it.

Shades of Plaid is now available.  It took longer than expected,
however I am now beside myself with joy because the book is out.  Being
beside oneself is not all it’s cracked up to be.  I might start arguing
with myself in a bit.  In the meantime, here are ways to get to the book.

It’s now in paperback  https://www.createspace.com/3521456

Smashwords
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/50196

And Kindle
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004UB5E3S

Posted in Word of the Day | 2 Comments