Word of the Day (Happy International “Louie Louie” Day)

Please enjoy today’s Elbert Hubbard
moment for April 11th, 2011. Have a happy International “Louie Louie” Day. Interesting fact: The most used letter in the
English alphabet is ‘E’, and ‘Q’ is the least used!! (Isn’t that the
truth? I have a friend who has at three “e”s
in her first name and no “q”s whatsoever.)

“One machine can do
the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary
man.” Elbert Hubbard

I hope you’ve enjoyed today’s
extremely deep Word of the Day. This may
be true but the Sham Wow is still amazing.

1 Peter 2:24

Monday Weird Story

A Crazy Twist of Fate

“Where’s
Bill”

“Oh,
Bill? He’s in bad shape. He had to have his appendix removed.”

Jack threw
his hands in the air. “Well, doesn’t
that just take the cake? Do you think someone might have thought it was
important to let me know before it was time for us to go out on the field? Where the heck am I supposed to find a goalie
now? This is supposed to be big league
soccer, and you guys act like you don’t really care.”

Jerry
looked toward the ground. “I don’t know
what to say. Nobody thought he was going
to have his appendix removed. The only
reason he went to the doctor in the first place is because he cut his foot and
thought he needed stitches. The next
thing you know he gets hit by a truck in the parking lot and then do to some
crazy twist of fate, the doctor discovers that he has appendicitis. Nobody saw that coming.”

Jack took a
deep breath. It was as if someone
upstairs really didn’t like him. He was
quite sure none of the other coaches had this problem. He thought perhaps he should give up coaching
soccer altogether and pursue an easier sport, like baseball. Giving Jerry a steely glare he finally
blurted, “Fine, I guess we’ll have to put in what’s his name. Good grief!
Is he even any good?”

“No, no
he’s not. His name is Misty, by the
way.”

“Misty? Isn’t that a girl’s name? Never mind! Put him on the field, and tell
the other players they better keep the ball on the opponent’s end of the field. We’re playing soccer not water polo.”

“Water
Polo? What does that even mean?”

“Just get
the guy out there so he has time to warm up before the game.”

When Jerry
found Misty, he was on the bench asleep.
Misty had never actually played in a game. He felt he was mostly there for moral
support. That’s why he was asleep.

Jerry
prodded him. “Wake up. You’re playing.”

Misty
rubbed his head in the fashion that most people do after being woken from a
deep sleep. “Since when do I have to
play?”

“Are you on
the team or not?”

“Well yeah,
but I have never had to play before.”

“Well,
you’re playing now and you better not let anyone score a goal.”

“Um, that’s
why I am the goalie, right?”

“Don’t
choose to be smart with me. I don’t like
this any better than you do.”

The players
went out on the field and a game of soccer began. It wasn’t a particularly good game of soccer,
but then those in attendance had come to expect a subpar performance. What they had not expected was for the
Vicious Gerbils to win without giving up a goal. Misty was insane! He was leaping and blocking like no one could
even imagine. A few people in the stands
decided to pinch themselves to see if they were actually dreaming and wound up
with extreme pinching trauma.

When the
game was over the celebration for the Vicious Gerbils was huge. This was there first win in a long time and
everyone was astonished. How was it that
Misty had been sitting on the bench all this time? Nobody seemed to remember a time when he had
performed particularly well during practice. The fact that he seemed to have
all this phenomenal talent led the coaches to believe that Misty had been
trying to bench himself on purpose. This
didn’t seem to make much sense.

It was and
unusual situation, but one that needed to be addressed. Jack gave Misty, who was currently seated
before him in his office, a long hard stare.
Finally, he spoke up, “It seems you have placed me in quite a
predicament. Bill has always been our
star goalie, but your performance the other day was really something else.”

“Well, I
would hate to cause any trouble for Bill.”

“The
question on everyone’s mind is how come nobody knew that you seemed to have
such talent?”

Misty
blushed slightly, “Well, I have been practicing.”

“When?”

“Excuse
me?”

“When have
you been practicing? You certainly have not been practicing during practice
time. Until the last game, no one has
seen you put much of any effort into whatsoever. We were ready to cut you from the team.”

Misty
stared at his feet as if they would provide Jack with the answer. “Well, I’ve been practicing on my own, a
bit.”

“What? You were phenomenal! I have never seen anyone play the goalie
position as well as you did last game!
How much time are you practicing on your own and why hasn’t it shown in
any of the practices? Surely, you improvement
could not have gone unnoticed.”

“Maybe, I’m
just shy.”

“Well, you
certainly weren’t shy last game.” Jack
gave Misty a piercing glare and Misty started to squirm. Jack knew full well there was more to the
story then what Misty was telling. He had
suspicions. “You know? It was a freaky thing, the way Bill has a
sudden bought of medical problems before the big game. It’s mighty suspicious if you ask me.”

Misty could
no longer handle the strain of his guilt.
He wept openly for what seemed like a good five minutes. Jack shifted in
his seat uncomfortably. When the
waterworks start, it’s no fun for anyone.

“Okay!”
Misty finally exclaimed, “You got me. I
have not been practicing. I used voodoo
magic. It’s all voodoo magic. I wanted to play, but I knew I was bad. You don’t think I knew I was bad? I was
downright awful. That’s why I called on
the voodoo spirits to help me play, and arranged a bit of bad luck for Bill
using a voodoo doll. It wasn’t just for
me. It was for the team. Look!
We won! You can’t fault me for
wanting to help the team.”

Jack could
fault Misty for wanting to help the team and he did. The league had a strict “no voodoo magic
“rule. Not only was Misty kicked from
the team, he was banned from the league.
They wouldn’t even let him watch.
This is why it’s important to remember that voodoo and sports do not
mix. Voodoo soccer is almost as crazy as
Jedi chess. It’s not something you want
to be caught at.

Shades of Plaid is now available. It took longer than expected,
however I am now beside myself with joy because the book is out. Being
beside oneself is not all it’s cracked up to be. I might start arguing
with myself in a bit. In the meantime, here are ways to get to the book.

It’s now in paperback https://www.createspace.com/3521456

Smashwords
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/50196

And Kindle
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004UB5E3S

Advertisements

About thejissilly

I am the writer of the TTTC. If you want to know more than one day I will update this.
This entry was posted in Word of the Day. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Word of the Day (Happy International “Louie Louie” Day)

  1. the formatting came out all weird 😦

    You gotta watch out for that voodoo stuff. it will get you in the end. Or the foot. Heh-heh.

  2. thejissilly says:

    Voodoo is bad Juju. That formatting stuff is a lot more work than it used to be.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s