Word of the Day (Have a happy DNA Day)

Please enjoy today’s Henry Ford  moment for April 25th, 2011. Have a happy DNA Day.  Interesting fact: Windmills always turn counter-clockwise. Except for the windmills in Ireland!  (I guess the wind in Ireland doesn’t blow right.)

“History is more or less bunk.”   Henry Ford

I hope you’ve enjoyed today’s extremely deep Word of the Day.  Someone
must have confronted Henry with trends in the automotive industry.

1 Peter 1:18-19 

  Monday Savage Chicken

The Encounter

Shades of Plaid is now available.  It took longer than expected,
however I am now beside myself with joy because the book is out.  Being
beside oneself is not all it’s cracked up to be.  I might start arguing
with myself in a bit.  In the meantime, here are ways to get to the book.

It’s now in paperback  https://www.createspace.com/3521456

Smashwords
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/50196

And Kindle
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004UB5E3S

Posted in Word of the Day | 2 Comments

Word of the Day (Happy Take a Wild Guess Day)

Please enjoy today’s Heinrich Heine moment
for April 15th, 2011. Have a happy Take a Wild Guess Day. Interesting Fact: Thomas Edison, lightbulb
inventor, was afraid of the dark! (It must have been insentive.)

“Ordinarily he
was insane, but he had lucid moments when he was merely stupid.” Heinrich Heine

I hope you’ve enjoyed today’s extremely
deep Word of the Day. I think I need
some lucid moments.

Romans 13:6-7

****Bonus
Material****

Please enjoy today’s Milton Berle moment
which every bit as deep as anything else you may have read:

“Laughter
is an instant vacation. ” Milton Berle (Except it usually does not come
with really cool t-shirts.)

Now it is time for the super nifty bonus
Word (or Phrase) of the Week! Learn and speak English, it’s the Mother Tongue!

compurgator (noun, Pronounced KAHM-per-gay-ter) one
who under oath vouches for the character or conduct of an accused person

Used in a sentence: I was accused of being
lazy and my compurgator stated that
any boss should feel lucky to have me work for him. I’m not quite sure it helped my case.

Shades of Plaid is now available. It
took longer than expected, however I am now beside myself with joy because the
book is out. Being beside oneself is not all it’s cracked up to be.
I might start arguing with myself in a bit. In the meantime, here are
ways to get to the book.

It’s now in paperback https://www.createspace.com/3521456

Smashwords
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/50196

And Kindle
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004UB5E3S

Extra Double Special Bonus: Jo and Jonathan’s Terrible Turtle Conspiracy

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Word of the Day (Happy National D.A.R.E. Day)

Please
enjoy today’s Rodney Dangerfield moment
for April 7th, 2011. Have a happy National D.A.R.E. Day. Interesting fact: There are more than 10
million bricks in the Empire State Building! (Both the straw and the stick
Empire State Buildings have been blown down.)

“My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day
she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.” Rodney Dangerfield

I hope
you’ve enjoyed today’s extremely deep Word of the Day. It’s a good thing she didn’t notice June.

1 Corinthians 15:1, 3-4

(What the… Savage
Chickens on Thursday)

Work is Boring

Shades of Plaid is now
available. It took longer than expected, however I am now beside myself
with joy because the book is out. Being beside oneself is not all it’s
cracked up to be. I might start arguing with myself in a bit. In the
meantime, here are ways to get to the book.

It’s now in paperback https://www.createspace.com/3521456

Smashwords
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/50196

And Kindle
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004UB5E3S

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Word of the Day (Happy Thomas Jefferson Day)

Please
enjoy today’s Brendan Francis moment for April 13th, 2011. Have a happy Thomas Jefferson Day. Interesting fact:
The sun is 330,330
times larger than the earth! (It’s like the Texas of heavenly bodies.)

“People who ask our advice almost never take it. Yet we
should never refuse to give it, upon request, for it often helps us to see our
own way more clearly.” Brendan Francis

I hope
you’ve enjoyed today’s extremely deep Word of the Day. I didn’t ask for that
advice, so I might as well follow it.
Here is some free advice for you.
It helps me see my way so clearly.

1. Don’t pick up frogs. They drink water all day just waiting.

2. Lift your pinky when having a cup of
tea.

3. If you don’t drink tea you should start.

4. It’s best to think a top ten list through
before starting.

5. Don’t make Chuck Norris Jokes, they infringe
on his celebrityness and he might kill you.

6. Lift your pinky when having a cup of
tea.

7. People almost always notice when you repeat
yourself.

8. Brush after every meal (unless you have
dentures you’re supposed to soak those things)

9. Go ahead and jump off the bridge, all your
friends are doing it.

10. Go
ahead and talk about religion and politics, what’s life if you can’t make some
people angry now and then.

Romans 3:23-24

IRS Hymn —
“All to Thee”

Shades of Plaid is now available. It took longer than expected,
however I am now beside myself with joy because the book is out. Being
beside oneself is not all it’s cracked up to be. I might start arguing with
myself in a bit. In the meantime, here are ways to get to the book.

It’s now in paperback https://www.createspace.com/3521456

Smashwords
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/50196

And Kindle
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004UB5E3S

(Wednesday Poetry Corner)

Haiku

When time is a crunch.

And you don’t really
have to

Write a real poem

Posted in Word of the Day | 3 Comments

Word of the Day (Happy D.E.A.R. Day)

Please
enjoy today’s Mark Twain moment for April 12th, 2011. Have a happy D.E.A.R. Day. Interesting fact
: The opposite sides
of a dice cube always add up to seven! (Not the dice
cubes with the happy faces. Those don’t
add up to anything.)

“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence;
then success is sure.” Mark Twain

I hope
you’ve enjoyed today’s extremely deep Word of the Day. I guess if you only have the ignorance, then
success if uncertain but still possible.

Luke 9:23-24

Shades of Plaid is now available. Here are ways to get to the book.

It’s now in paperback https://www.createspace.com/3521456

Smashwords
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/50196

And Kindle
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004UB5E3S

plaid rainbow

Photobucket

Posted in Word of the Day | 4 Comments

Word of the Day (Happy International “Louie Louie” Day)

Please enjoy today’s Elbert Hubbard
moment for April 11th, 2011. Have a happy International “Louie Louie” Day. Interesting fact: The most used letter in the
English alphabet is ‘E’, and ‘Q’ is the least used!! (Isn’t that the
truth? I have a friend who has at three “e”s
in her first name and no “q”s whatsoever.)

“One machine can do
the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary
man.” Elbert Hubbard

I hope you’ve enjoyed today’s
extremely deep Word of the Day. This may
be true but the Sham Wow is still amazing.

1 Peter 2:24

Monday Weird Story

A Crazy Twist of Fate

“Where’s
Bill”

“Oh,
Bill? He’s in bad shape. He had to have his appendix removed.”

Jack threw
his hands in the air. “Well, doesn’t
that just take the cake? Do you think someone might have thought it was
important to let me know before it was time for us to go out on the field? Where the heck am I supposed to find a goalie
now? This is supposed to be big league
soccer, and you guys act like you don’t really care.”

Jerry
looked toward the ground. “I don’t know
what to say. Nobody thought he was going
to have his appendix removed. The only
reason he went to the doctor in the first place is because he cut his foot and
thought he needed stitches. The next
thing you know he gets hit by a truck in the parking lot and then do to some
crazy twist of fate, the doctor discovers that he has appendicitis. Nobody saw that coming.”

Jack took a
deep breath. It was as if someone
upstairs really didn’t like him. He was
quite sure none of the other coaches had this problem. He thought perhaps he should give up coaching
soccer altogether and pursue an easier sport, like baseball. Giving Jerry a steely glare he finally
blurted, “Fine, I guess we’ll have to put in what’s his name. Good grief!
Is he even any good?”

“No, no
he’s not. His name is Misty, by the
way.”

“Misty? Isn’t that a girl’s name? Never mind! Put him on the field, and tell
the other players they better keep the ball on the opponent’s end of the field. We’re playing soccer not water polo.”

“Water
Polo? What does that even mean?”

“Just get
the guy out there so he has time to warm up before the game.”

When Jerry
found Misty, he was on the bench asleep.
Misty had never actually played in a game. He felt he was mostly there for moral
support. That’s why he was asleep.

Jerry
prodded him. “Wake up. You’re playing.”

Misty
rubbed his head in the fashion that most people do after being woken from a
deep sleep. “Since when do I have to
play?”

“Are you on
the team or not?”

“Well yeah,
but I have never had to play before.”

“Well,
you’re playing now and you better not let anyone score a goal.”

“Um, that’s
why I am the goalie, right?”

“Don’t
choose to be smart with me. I don’t like
this any better than you do.”

The players
went out on the field and a game of soccer began. It wasn’t a particularly good game of soccer,
but then those in attendance had come to expect a subpar performance. What they had not expected was for the
Vicious Gerbils to win without giving up a goal. Misty was insane! He was leaping and blocking like no one could
even imagine. A few people in the stands
decided to pinch themselves to see if they were actually dreaming and wound up
with extreme pinching trauma.

When the
game was over the celebration for the Vicious Gerbils was huge. This was there first win in a long time and
everyone was astonished. How was it that
Misty had been sitting on the bench all this time? Nobody seemed to remember a time when he had
performed particularly well during practice. The fact that he seemed to have
all this phenomenal talent led the coaches to believe that Misty had been
trying to bench himself on purpose. This
didn’t seem to make much sense.

It was and
unusual situation, but one that needed to be addressed. Jack gave Misty, who was currently seated
before him in his office, a long hard stare.
Finally, he spoke up, “It seems you have placed me in quite a
predicament. Bill has always been our
star goalie, but your performance the other day was really something else.”

“Well, I
would hate to cause any trouble for Bill.”

“The
question on everyone’s mind is how come nobody knew that you seemed to have
such talent?”

Misty
blushed slightly, “Well, I have been practicing.”

“When?”

“Excuse
me?”

“When have
you been practicing? You certainly have not been practicing during practice
time. Until the last game, no one has
seen you put much of any effort into whatsoever. We were ready to cut you from the team.”

Misty
stared at his feet as if they would provide Jack with the answer. “Well, I’ve been practicing on my own, a
bit.”

“What? You were phenomenal! I have never seen anyone play the goalie
position as well as you did last game!
How much time are you practicing on your own and why hasn’t it shown in
any of the practices? Surely, you improvement
could not have gone unnoticed.”

“Maybe, I’m
just shy.”

“Well, you
certainly weren’t shy last game.” Jack
gave Misty a piercing glare and Misty started to squirm. Jack knew full well there was more to the
story then what Misty was telling. He had
suspicions. “You know? It was a freaky thing, the way Bill has a
sudden bought of medical problems before the big game. It’s mighty suspicious if you ask me.”

Misty could
no longer handle the strain of his guilt.
He wept openly for what seemed like a good five minutes. Jack shifted in
his seat uncomfortably. When the
waterworks start, it’s no fun for anyone.

“Okay!”
Misty finally exclaimed, “You got me. I
have not been practicing. I used voodoo
magic. It’s all voodoo magic. I wanted to play, but I knew I was bad. You don’t think I knew I was bad? I was
downright awful. That’s why I called on
the voodoo spirits to help me play, and arranged a bit of bad luck for Bill
using a voodoo doll. It wasn’t just for
me. It was for the team. Look!
We won! You can’t fault me for
wanting to help the team.”

Jack could
fault Misty for wanting to help the team and he did. The league had a strict “no voodoo magic
“rule. Not only was Misty kicked from
the team, he was banned from the league.
They wouldn’t even let him watch.
This is why it’s important to remember that voodoo and sports do not
mix. Voodoo soccer is almost as crazy as
Jedi chess. It’s not something you want
to be caught at.

Shades of Plaid is now available. It took longer than expected,
however I am now beside myself with joy because the book is out. Being
beside oneself is not all it’s cracked up to be. I might start arguing
with myself in a bit. In the meantime, here are ways to get to the book.

It’s now in paperback https://www.createspace.com/3521456

Smashwords
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/50196

And Kindle
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004UB5E3S

Posted in Word of the Day | 2 Comments

Word of the Day (Happy Buddha Day)

Please enjoy today’s Colin Powell moment
for April 8th, 2011. Have a happy Buddha Day.
Interesting Fact: The electric chair was invented by a dentist! (The
dentist just wanted to be able to say, “What?
You think this chair is scary?”)

“There are no
secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning
from failure.” Colin Powell

I hope you’ve enjoyed today’s extremely
deep Word of the Day. You should also
have a good luck star fish. You can’t be
successful without a good luck star fish.
I know. I just bought one for
$19.99 plus shipping and handling.

Romans 5:10

****Bonus
Material****

Please enjoy today’s P. G. Wodehouse moment
which every bit as deep as anything else you may have read:

“At the age
of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle
difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere
in the later seventies.” P. G. Wodehouse (Most seventy year olds seem to
handle difficult situations by sitting around, drinking coffee, and griping to
anyone who will listen. It’s no surprise
that women learn this at such an early age.)

Now it is time for the super nifty bonus
Word (or Phrase) of the Week! Learn and speak English, it’s the Mother Tongue!

cloud-cuckoo-land
(noun, Pronounced kloud-KOO-koo-land) : a
realm of fantasy or of whimsical or foolish behavior

Used in a sentence: You must be living in cloud-cuckoo-land if you think you can
be successful in life without a good luck star fish.

Shades of Plaid is now available. It
took longer than expected, however I am now beside myself with joy because the
book is out. Being beside oneself is not all it’s cracked up to be.
I might start arguing with myself in a bit. In the meantime, here are
ways to get to the book.

It’s now in paperback https://www.createspace.com/3521456

Smashwords
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/50196

And Kindle
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004UB5E3S

Extra Double Special Bonus: Jo and Jonathan’s Terrible Turtle Conspiracy

Posted in Word of the Day | 2 Comments